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the mind games people will play
Aug. 29th, 2005 12:38 pmMay I just say ... I cannot abide by sneaks!
I've lost track of the number of times I've identified someone trying to "pull one over" on me and have simply not said anything. I am not a confrontational person, and I know that people read me as being a "pushover." The truth is that what people often sneak around to get from me is not something that I have a particular attachment to and so I allow them to believe that I've been "fooled" or tricked or "had." What's the point in struggling with them? If that is how they feel they must behave, that is their own problem, and maybe one day they'll come to their senses.
I used to find it curious that people behaved like this, but increasingly ... it is starting to concern me that people can be so petty. It is harmful to community.
It doesn't so much cause injury to me because I try not to get involved in political machinations, be it at work, in volunteer organizations, relationships or anywhere else. But it is extremely disappointing. My humanistic heart gets a little broken every time. Once in a while I actually am fooled because I am a very unsuspecting person. Fortunately, I have some brains and am naturally cautious. Also, so far I have managed to never be viewed as threatening enough to be a target for someone on their quest for world domination. ::scoff::
I am not worried about it. I just remember what Nietzsche said: "I do not want to accuse. I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Turning away shall be my only negation."
At Opus, E- and I came to a realization about how we operate. She will always take into account a person's history when considering their current request or their current actions/speech. This explains why sometimes she gets really angry at someone who seems to have a valid concern - because she's taking into account how they have tried to undermine or been hurtful in the past. Whereas I will seem to be so tolerant of a person who has a history of being destructive or foolish, and I will judge each of their behaviors and speeches on its own merit. Even if someone who yelled at me this morning approached me in the afternoon and asked for something that they needed, I would be able to help them as if nothing had happened.
We came to this realization: that she has a more wholistic view of people, while I compartmentalize people - but we did not attempt to determine who had the "better" approach. I think we both understand we can learn from each other.
I've lost track of the number of times I've identified someone trying to "pull one over" on me and have simply not said anything. I am not a confrontational person, and I know that people read me as being a "pushover." The truth is that what people often sneak around to get from me is not something that I have a particular attachment to and so I allow them to believe that I've been "fooled" or tricked or "had." What's the point in struggling with them? If that is how they feel they must behave, that is their own problem, and maybe one day they'll come to their senses.
I used to find it curious that people behaved like this, but increasingly ... it is starting to concern me that people can be so petty. It is harmful to community.
It doesn't so much cause injury to me because I try not to get involved in political machinations, be it at work, in volunteer organizations, relationships or anywhere else. But it is extremely disappointing. My humanistic heart gets a little broken every time. Once in a while I actually am fooled because I am a very unsuspecting person. Fortunately, I have some brains and am naturally cautious. Also, so far I have managed to never be viewed as threatening enough to be a target for someone on their quest for world domination. ::scoff::
I am not worried about it. I just remember what Nietzsche said: "I do not want to accuse. I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Turning away shall be my only negation."
At Opus, E- and I came to a realization about how we operate. She will always take into account a person's history when considering their current request or their current actions/speech. This explains why sometimes she gets really angry at someone who seems to have a valid concern - because she's taking into account how they have tried to undermine or been hurtful in the past. Whereas I will seem to be so tolerant of a person who has a history of being destructive or foolish, and I will judge each of their behaviors and speeches on its own merit. Even if someone who yelled at me this morning approached me in the afternoon and asked for something that they needed, I would be able to help them as if nothing had happened.
We came to this realization: that she has a more wholistic view of people, while I compartmentalize people - but we did not attempt to determine who had the "better" approach. I think we both understand we can learn from each other.
